Monday, 7 June 2010

Do you like having your photograph taken?

I don’t - being a minger I hate having my photograph taken. If anyone points a camera in my direction I turn into an exhibit in a gargoyle competition.
Some of my readers are stunning and attractive, so you can skip the next bit.
For those of you destined to become celebs, needing advice on how to pose on the red carpet at the Oscars or baftas, here are some tricks for looking good for the press:

Take a deep breath and exhale to appear relaxed.
Head up as if someone is pulling the crown of your head to the sky.
Chin ever so slightly up and forward to alleviate a double chin– not too much or you'll get a nostril shot.
Smile from your lower mouth only– eyes won't squint and wrinkles won't appear.
Know the best side of your face and position it to the camera.
Shoulders back.
Inside shoulder angled away from the camera–this sets the ¾ frame for the rest of you to appear slimmer.
Inside arm on upper hip to create shape and have your waist appear smaller.
Outside arm, straight and slightly away from your body to avoid ruining the line of your outfit and have your upper body appear leaner.
Hand in a semi-open pretty shape with fingers slightly apart. Tummy tight.
Hips forward and continue to be on a ¾ angle way from the camera to look slimmer.
Outside leg crossed over to the inside with foot pointed inward to create an elongated and slim leg. You are not putting any weight on this foot so leg muscles look lean.
Inside leg is your support. Once it is placed on your mark, everything will fall in place from there.

P.S. I think this sounds far too complicated – probably easier to avoid cameras altogether or just make sure you never become famous.


Ewarwoowar said...

As if anyone would remember all that!

eve said...

How long is the photographer prepared to stand and wait for all this to happen!!?

Sue's Blog said...

Eve and Ewar - my thoughts entirely on the subject!!!