Wednesday, 30 September 2009

How to be a success with women

According to a recent poll, chat-up lines are supposed to impress most women, but the remarks need to be funny and succinct.
Women love confident men with a good sense of humour, and a witty chat-up line can be a good way to demonstrate this quality, and get a woman’s attention.

The five most successful chat up lines are:

‘Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?’
‘I’ve had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?’
‘Apart from being beautiful, what do you do for a living?’
‘Shall we talk, or continue flirting from a distance?’
‘I seem to have lost my number, can I have yours instead?’

Chat-up lines to avoid (apparently) are:

Smash an ice cube than announce ‘Now I’ve broken the ice, let’s talk’
‘I guess you can kiss heaven goodbye, it has got to be a sin to look that good’
‘Were you arrested earlier? It’s got to be illegal to look that good’
‘I’ve lost that loving feeling. Will you help me find it?’
‘Do you have a map, because I keep getting lost in your eyes?’

What do you think?
Would you approach some unsuspecting female with one of the above?
Would you be impressed if some random bloke uttered one of the above examples?
Has anyone actually used any of these, or said them to you?

Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Anglo-Saxon Gold

The discovery of a hoard of Anglo-Saxon treasure in a field in Staffordshire caused great excitement last week. The treasure probably dates from the late seventh century, when Mercia was extending its boundaries. The beauty and intricacy of the treasure casts doubts on our perception of Anglo-Saxon culture, as the ‘dark ages’.
The hoard was discovered by Terry Herbert using a metal detector in a field near Burntwood.
The treasure is currently on show at the Birmingham Museum and Art Gallery until the 13th of October.

Friday, 25 September 2009

Follow-up to the snouts in trough saga

Some months ago the world at Westminster was thrown into turmoil when the Daily Telegraph began the slow leak of information regarding the abuse of the expenses and allowances system by some MPs.
Well, today the Telegraph revealed that the mole was linked to moonlighting service personnel who were incensed by what they found whilst temping in The Stationery Office. Apparently they were having to work during leave periods to pay for their own body armour etc, and were not amused.
They have done the world a favour by bringing this information to light, but it is not surprising that a book on the subject is due to be published today!

Wednesday, 23 September 2009

Sydney turns red overnight

No, this is not a political posting, but a dire warning for all of us.
Australia is currently experiencing freak weather conditions. Residents of Sydney woke up to find their city enveloped in clouds of red and orange dust. The harbour bridge was obscured by an eerie glow, making it look like something out of an alien space invasion film. Flights were grounded and travelling by road was hazardous.
In Adelaide heavy rain caused flooding. Melbourne was hit by a couple of earth tremors. Hail stones the size of cricket balls fell on New South Wales and Queensland is suffering from bush fires.
It was also reported today that China and the USA are finally waking up to the problem of global warming, and have pledged to do something about it.
Well, they had better hurry up about it. The weather conditions in Australia are a warning that time is running out
Society needs to be less reliant on excessive consumerism, and more focused on saving the planet.

Tuesday, 22 September 2009

Who do you think is a good role model?

It is hardly surprising news that many children do not respect their parents and have little regard for adults in general. In a poll by the Children’s Society David Beckham and Cheryl Cole were rated as good role models. In the world of politics one third saw David Cameron as a good role model and only a fifth rated Gordon Brown.
Poor old Homer Simpson was seen as the ultimate bad role model. This seems a bit harsh. Homer is a devoted family man. He may drink a few Duff beers with the lads, but he is not out scoring drugs or chasing other women, and he holds down a job. I think it is unfair that poor Homer has been given this accolade. I can think of far worse examples than him.
Who do you think is a good role model for young people and who is a really bad one?

Monday, 21 September 2009

Bring back pyjamas

According to a survey this week ,sales of Pyjamas are increasing astronomically, and top designers are featuring pyjamas in their couture collections. Sales of women’s pyjamas have trebled in the last decade (could this be something to do with Bridget Jones’s Diary?).
Pyjamas were appropriated by ex-pats in India in the seventeenth-century. They became popular in England in the nineteenth-century, replacing the Wee Willie Winkie nightshirts that were ubiquitous. The fifties was probably the golden age of pyjama wearing, with a sharp decline from the seventies onwards when duvets became popular and more houses had central heating.
Thanks to the credit crunch and extortionate fuel bills, pyjamas are making a dramatic come back as people strive to keep warm. There may even be a resurgence of the ‘pyjama and bottle’ parties that were all the rage in the roaring twenties.

There is something deliciously decadent don’t you think about slobbing around the house in pyjamas – now at least it is the latest a fashion craze, and not a lazy student thing!

More bad news for students

The Confederation of British Industry announced today that the problems caused by greedy bankers should be passed down the line to students. They advised that the government could save £1.4 billion by screwing students. They want tuition fees raised, grants limited, and student loan repayments brought in line with mainstream interest rates. They suggest that tuition fees should be £5,000+
These increases could help to stave of the proposed cutbacks in higher education, but are they fair?
In my opinion, for what it is worth, in a civilized society top quality education and health care should be free for everybody.
Politicians should go back to the drawing board and have a hard look at the real reasons why the world is in a mess.

Friday, 11 September 2009

Happy Birthday to me

Today is my birthday.

Unfortunately thanks to Mr. Bin Laden my birthday is no longer a happy occasion.
11.9.2001 was a terrible day when the world seemed to change for ever, and thousands of innocent people lost their lives.
I feel at a loss to understand why Al-Qaeda et al hate their fellow humans so much, and feel compelled to destroy them.
What alternative model of society is Al-Qaeda trying to promote? Judging by their actions it seems to be a violent and destructive ideology that does not respect the lives of others. Only the sick, psychopathic, and deluded could find such a way of life appealing.
If any of you understand what their aim is please feel free to enlighten me, because I am struggling to understand what the issues are.

All I want for my birthday is for people to live in peace. I wish all the bloodshed and corruption in the world would stop, and that everyone could focus on real issues like poverty and global warming.

Thank you.

Thursday, 10 September 2009

Who’s hot and who’s not?

Who do you think deserves the title of hottest looking person around, and who makes you want to rush for the nearest exit?

I love costume dramas. I recently watched Desperate Romantics and the sight of Aidan Turner, who played Dante Gabriel Rossetti, sent my pulse racing. He definitely gets my vote for best looking man.

I ended up with three joint contenders for the accolade of least appealing though.
Michael Winner - because he seems arrogant and self-satisfied
Alistair Darling - because he has the charm and looks of a dodgy car salesman
And last but not least Gordon Brown who has less appeal and charisma than a bowl of gruel.

Who do you rate or hate???

Wednesday, 9 September 2009

What will happen today?

Today is the 9th day of the ninth month and the year is 2009 → 999
Doom mongers have been predicting that today could be the end of the world or at the very least something nasty could happen.
Some fans of numerology and Nostrodamus are anxiously waiting for us all to be sucked into a black hole caused by the Hadron Collider in Switzerland, or something more sinister.
Others think that 999 might herald a terrorist attack, mimicking the 9/11 attack in America (emergency call numbers)
Can anyone predict the future? , or are these predictions just a load of nonsense.
Well, we will soon find out.
I was going to post this at nine minutes past nine, but I’m going out now.

Have a nice day !!!!!!!!!

Thursday, 3 September 2009


A dreadful crime has been committed in the allotments of the peaceful sea-side town of Torquay.
The police are trying to track down the villain or villains responsible for several ABH attacks on prizewinning fruit and veg.
Mr. Mason found that his pumpkins had been stabbed with a spike and Mr. Pastewski’s flowers were poisoned with weed killer.
This terrible spate of vegetable nobbling appears to be motivated by spite. The victims are people who were hoping to enter their home-grown produce in the Torquay Allotment Association Show.
The traumatized gardeners are planning to set up a ‘vegilante’ group to patrol the allotments.

It takes a lot of time, effort, and love to grow things, so I hope the miscreant will be caught and forced to eat a bucket of sprouts!