The Christmas cracker was invented by Tom Smith in 1847
Scientists at the University of Surrey have come up with a formula for the perfect way to pull a Christmas cracker:
(It involves a complex equation that looks mind-boggling)
P = the ‘probability’ - between 1 where you have no chance of winning and 10 for certainty that you will win the pull…
J = the ‘jerk factor’ - The ratio of how much you are pulling compared to your opponent. This ranges between 1 where you are keeping dead still - where as your opponent is doing all the active pulling, through to 10, the reverse situation, when you are tugging hard.
T = the ‘twist factor’ - This again ranges between 1 and 10. 1 means you are not twisting your end of the cracker away from the cracker body, and 10 is for the extreme situation when you twist your end to be right angles to the body of the cracker.
Ny and No = the total number of times you and your opponent respectively have won when pulling crackers.
S = the ‘stare factor’- It takes into account how good you are in a psychological battle with your opponent. Rate yourself from 0 if you are useless to 10 if you would always be able to stare them out!
A = the number of units of alcohol you have drunk compared to your opponent. - If you have drunk less or the same you can set A to 0.
J = the ‘jerk factor’ - The ratio of how much you are pulling compared to your opponent. This ranges between 1 where you are keeping dead still - where as your opponent is doing all the active pulling, through to 10, the reverse situation, when you are tugging hard.
T = the ‘twist factor’ - This again ranges between 1 and 10. 1 means you are not twisting your end of the cracker away from the cracker body, and 10 is for the extreme situation when you twist your end to be right angles to the body of the cracker.
Ny and No = the total number of times you and your opponent respectively have won when pulling crackers.
S = the ‘stare factor’- It takes into account how good you are in a psychological battle with your opponent. Rate yourself from 0 if you are useless to 10 if you would always be able to stare them out!
A = the number of units of alcohol you have drunk compared to your opponent. - If you have drunk less or the same you can set A to 0.
Yawn.........This is all too complicated – just pull it
3 comments:
I wouldn't share my cracker with him. I'm a fan of "if it's your cracker you get the prize no matter the outcome". He seems like he'd screw you for everything you've got.
Probably even keep the rubbish joke too.....
I agree - the fact that it is your cracker to start with means that it's your prize no matter whose dinner you have to retrieve it out of!
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